Hi everybody, I joined your forum because it appeared that there are a lot of knowledgeable, experienced people here that may be able to help me define some ways to abate my constant anxiety. Here's the background info:
I definitely have some kind of anxiety problem, though never clinically diagnosed, but if I had to guess... maybe something like GAD? I feel tense and anxious all of the time, even when there is no trigger and nothing in particular on my mind. I can be chilling at home just surfing the web, nothing threatening at all and I'll have the panicked stomach and feel on edge and even kind of weepy. This varies in degree, sometimes just a "low hum in the background" that I can tune out, and other times it can get kind of extreme. Occasionally, though far from daily, I experience some pretty intense episodes and of course there is no way to escape the situation because there really is no "situation" other than my body choosing to have a spontaneous freak-out. Of course, if there IS some kind of stressor, even fairly minor, not always but often it hits me hard like a kick to the stomach, and too often embarking upon a social activity is like choking down bad medicine; I make myself do it, because I don't wanna be a recluse, and I do find pleasure in social events, but also as much and sometimes more negativity beside.
Other symptoms include trouble sleeping (tend to wake up throughout the night, or else lack particularly "deep" sleep), constant fatigue, often a sort of mental fog, occasional trouble concentrating due to being "hyped up" with tension, lack of ambition to do things productive or fun (due to no energy), and I've been diagnosed with IBS so it can be said that there is stomach upset. I guess there is some depression, but I don't view it as clinical, and most of it is due to the effects of the aforementioned. Lately there has also been incidents where I feel like it is hard to get an adequate breath. Not like wheezing or hyperventilation, just like my throat is kind of tight. This mostly occurs during late evening and night. I do not suspect a food allergy.
Additionally, anxiety is very prevalent on my dad's side of the family, with most of those relatives having clinical diagnoses for anxiety. Also, my dad is on clonazepam forever and ever, because through years of working with a psychiatrist/psychologist, he and his doctor concluded he could never be off of the stuff and function all right.
I am currently on the following: Omega-3 fatty acid (1+ years), daily multivitamin (1+ years), magnesium citrate supplement (about a month), bacopa monnieri (about 5 weeks), theanine (occasionally as needed, though not very effective), chamomile tea (tasty, but ineffective for my chronic problems), a memory foam pillow (1+ years for improved slumber, though it fails).
I have tried: SAM-e (didn't do much for me), Paxil and Zoloft (was forced onto the stuff in high school due to parental misunderstanding of an email, but stopped taking due to doctor recommendation and the stuff was unhelpful and produced side effects). I used to be big on meditation and that was some great stuff but the anxiety got worse and worse and has overpowered the efficacy that the meditation once presented.
Phew! If you read all that, I really appreciate it! Also, it may be relevant to know that I am on the Pill. Also, some exercise can kind of help, but I think only in the respect that it wears out my body too much to waste energy on being unnecessarily high strung. Once the exhaustion wears off, it is not long before the symptoms return.
Does anybody have any ideas for how I can deal with this persistent anxiety without resorting to benzodiazapines? There are surely a million reasons why I don't want to resort to such medication, and also it is worth noting that something to be taken only at particularly striking instances will have limited value to me, since my anxiety runs debilitatingly in the background all day long. However my anxiety is only getting worse and I'm feeling at the end of my rope here. So if anyone has any last ditch suggestions I can take before diving headfirst into the world of addictive, thought-slowing medications, I would really appreciate the advice. I've heard a lot about Rhodiola, mostly anectodal evidence, but it does not seem like a very promising supplement to me... unless someone else can provide otherwise? I've also heard about BuSpar, and have perhaps undue optimism for it due to its low incidence of risk and side effects... but I believe, like most things I've tried, also a low incidence of effectiveness :(
I don't mean to sound so pessimistic, but at this point I feel like I am faced with the dichotomy of contending with ever-increasing anxiety, or mind-numbing medication. So I'm just scrounging around for some scrap of hope, a safe and effective alternative. Thank you so much for reading and for any insight you can provide!
EDIT: Also, forgot to mention that I generally don't consume caffeine, so that is not the culprit. Thanks!
Edited by Elana, 16 March 2009 - 09:30 PM.